I used to very prideful in all of the choices that I make and the things that I do. Hence the word, USED to. That was before I met you.
My mom said she’s been having nightmares for the past couple of weeks. One, in particular, gave me the chills. It was a dream about a test, a pencil, and a clock. I remember the description very well. It went something like this:
I was taking a test and my heart was racing, adrenaline pumping through every vein of my body. My palms were sweating. The test was one page, but every time I wrote in an answer, it would just disappear. All I could hear was the sound of that clock ticking and ticking away. I knew I didn’t have time. I knew I wouldn’t finish. And then, I woke up.
It intrigued me that even now, my mom STILL has nightmares about school.
I don’t know. Adults always say how their teenage years was the “Golden Era” of their time, which I guess I can somewhat relate to. Because when you’re a teen, you don’t have to worry about raising three kids, paying taxes, or angry bosses yelling at you. But at the same time, school is what makes the teenage years a living nightmare.
I don’t know why school is so miserable for a lot of people. It should be a place where you learn from others, connect with others, and find yourself in the process.
But that is just a STEREOTYPE.
Because school isn’t about those things anymore. Well at least to me. It just about who is dating who, who has the best fashion taste, and who gets an A in a class. Think about it. One letter on one a piece of paper can determine almost everything that will happen throughout your high school career.
School has lost all meaning to me. I miss the days where I could actually bond with people and not fear about being judged. I didn’t have to worry about what others thought about me or the fact that my immediate future is determined simply by a test.
Because the fact is, School, you’re making me unhappy. Very unhappy.
Oh yeah, and stressed. I swear I’m going to have white hair by the end of December.